And as much as you’d love to, you can’t pack a bag and get away right now. You have bills, deadlines, and a whole heap of shit that need be done, yet your feelings are like the world’s greatest defense player right now. Wherever you go, there they are. Try to move, pass, or shoot, and I’ll be damned…they’re right in your face.
I’ve worked pretty much every industry out there. I’ve done retail, CNA work, telemarketing, hotel front desk, warehousing, restaurant, 911, university teaching, and now entrepreneurial writing and coaching. I’m sure I’m leaving out of something, but you get the point. I totally understand demands and deadlines.
I also understand that if your mental ain’t in order, then what your output will be equally off. And sometimes we pull it off. A lot of times actually. You’re an emotional wreck, but you still manage to get it all done. But it didn’t make you feel better. If anything, it probably made you feel even more overwhelmed. One thing down, three million and three things to go.
When I have these days, they usually start off feeling cloudy. That’s when I know that I’m doing too much of going through the motions of everyday life and not taking enough time for me to be creative, sexual, sensual, selfish, and silent. If I try to work through it instead of confronting it, then by around 1 (it may be earlier or later for you), it turns into anxiety and I ain’t nothing nice.
Here’s a formula that I’ll admit to only have tried twice as a whole process, but it works. Trust me:
1. Get it all out.
When working at 911, taking a break was next to impossible, so I’d send my mom an email with a subject line of “Don’t reply. Just venting.” And I’d get it all out. At the university, I’d go for a walk around campus and mumble to myself or find a song that’s directly in alignment with how my feelings and blast it my entire walk. One of my favorite outlets is freewriting. Back in the day, I stopped at this point. I’ve since refined the process.
2. Set an intention.
Using the problem at the top of your list of stressors, determine what you need and narrow it down to one word. If you need more money, then what you really want is the freedom to not have to worry about money; you want peace of mind. Your intention might be “freedom” or “peace.” Hate your job or relationship? Your intention may be clarity or courage. No specific stressor? Just choose how you want to feel right now.
3. Breathe.
4. Affirm.
Start by sitting on your hands and stating everything that you are, beginning with “I am.” (I am better than this. I am brilliant. I am beautiful. I am…). Keep going ’til you’re out of things to say. Next, place your hands over your womb area and declare everything you want, beginning with “I want.” (I want peace. I want freedom. I want commitment. I want…). Finally, place your hands over your belly button and declare everything you will do, beginning with “I will.” (I will act in spite of my fears. I will travel the globe. I will be fucking great. I will…)
5. Close in prayer.
Think of it as a sealant to the process. The final thing before diving back into your day. Keep it simple and keep it you. Your relationship with Spirit is uniquely your own, as is your relationship to language. Converse as colorfully as you feel the need to.
The real magic of this process is that you prioritize and, thus, manage your feelings versus ignoring and overriding them, which never works. It works anywhere–home, work, school, etc. If you only have five minutes to spare, it works. If you have at least 20, then even better. You can do it out loud or in complete silence. Afterwards, you go about your day more grounded.
P.S. If you liked this article, you’ll love the book from which this process was pulled: Women Who Ain’t Afraid to Curse When Communicating with God. Get yours!