We Got Stood Up. What Had Happened Was…

“When women walk, they talk, and when they talk, they solve problems.” —My friend and GirlTrek co-founder, Morgan Dixon

My friend Crystal invited me to an early morning poolside yoga event. Woke up at 5 something, giving me about 45 minutes to be in the car if I still planned to go. I considered skipping, but, as I told the mister, “I’ma gone go and see what worms out there for the early birds.” 

• Arrived right on time. First thought: This pool is rusty and dirty af, nothing like the picture. Second thought: The weather good though. 
• Six other women there. Everybody but the instructor. Come to find out, she canceled (without notifying anyone). 
• The venting and complaining was loud. My frustration was in the mix too, because I could’ve been at home cuddled up. Started not to come but did, now look. 
• “We were obviously meant to be here with each other,” Crystal said. 
• We agreed then went right back to teet sucking and eye rolling. Crystal went quiet, which nudged me to stop complaining. Seconds later, another woman walked in. Someone updated her. 
• “I’ma yoga instructor, if y’all want me to. Since we’re already here…” the newcomer, Dawn, shared. (I’m in the yellow. Crystal is to my left, in maroon, and Dawn is to my right, in green.)

• Problem: The original instructor was bringing extra yoga mats with her, so not everyone had one. Solution: Dawn suggested using pool towels from the hotel. 
• We start and it’s just not the yoga I’m used to. I practice pretty regularly and whether it’s slow and deep or a lil quicker and cardio-like, this was none of that. Not wrong, just different. I start to zone out. A house sparrow lands on one of the chairs. Birds are my reminders to get outta my head and into the moment. I smile and refocus.
• Shavasana is usually the final position in a yoga practice. Flat on my back, instead of closing my eyes, I stared up at the birds, the passing planes, and the clouds. I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I cloud-watched, but it was SO peaceful! We stayed that way for about 5 minutes. 
• “Anyone wanna share something they hope to take back home with them?” Dawn asked. 
• “I’m Trelani and this experience didn’t go at all as planned. The pool is ugly, first of all.” They laughed. “Instructor didn’t show. Not enough yoga mats. But when I noticed Crystal not complaining, I stopped. Dawn walked in like ‘I got y’all.’ We just kept making it work, and when I got outta my head and truly into the moment, I had such a beautiful time, especially staring up at the clouds. It’s been forever since I’ve done that.” They started yessss’ing. “I wanna go back home remembering that disappointments are around every corner, but if you’re open and aware, everything you need is right there too—especially when you not trying to figure it out alone.

• I had a similar could’ve-been-disappointing experience on St. Helena Island recently. The A/C wasn’t working in a small restaurant packed with about 30 people (in July, in South Carolina). But the food and the bonding on the porch is all I’ll remember.
• Shoutout to my friend Martina for taking the pic! Friends who take candids but not excessively are so special. 
• Shout out to my friend Chef Adé Carrena for the event on St. Helena! 
• I ain’t on social media, so y’all gon’ get these pics.

• My friend Elbi, as part of Eid gift back in March, sent me seeds to start my pollinator garden. They’re starting to sprout! 
• Pollinator gardens have native, wildflowers that attract and support bees, butterflies, and birds. They’re pretty af and they’re great for the environment by helping keep the ecosystem intact. 
• Anthropogenic means humans did it, especially when it comes to environmental changes.
• Pollinator gardens are a small but meaningful antidote to anthropogenic habitat loss.
• My book, Women Who Ain’t Afraid to Curse When Communicating With God, is a podcast now. Each episode includes a writing prompt, a story, and a meditation. 3-5 minutes per episode. On Spotify and Apple Podcast.