10 points that made my writing retreat, Between Words and Water, so epic

This post checks off three tasks: I wanted to share what happened, analyze what went well, and give some type of guide to those who plan to host a retreat of their own. We’re all creators who are aware of the importance of giving other women space to connect and create. So this post is guided by 10 points that made this retreat so epic, life-changing, and transformative (three descriptions that were included in the post-event surveys):

1. I based the retreat on what I need as a woman writer.

Hosting a retreat has been a dream of mine for about five years now, but this one tapped my shoulder about five months ago. I was shoulder-deep in shit to do for school, my business, the kids, the house, and everything. My mind would occasionally wander off to where I wanted to be: in a beach house with nothing to do but write. I didn’t want to be alone, but I definitely needed plenty of space to be alone when I wanted to be.

2. I went for what I exactly wanted.

After the idea took root, all kinds of “oooh, and I should ____” came to mind. I wanted a chef who could prepare highly vibrational food that had soul. I wanted yoga and meditation. A nice view. A gorgeous house that we could turn into our space with an altar, rap and r&b, incense and sage, books by Alice and Zora, etc. I also wanted plenty of spots where we could duck off to be alone to write, nap, meditate, read, or just eat a bowl of grapes.

3. I considered retreats I’ve attended in the past. 

A lot of what I wanted was based off of every retreat I’ve ever attended. How She Got Free, for example, which was based in Jamaica back in 2o13, was a spiritual business retreat. It was the first retreat I’d ever attended that integrated the spiritual component with another. Usually it’s either/or. I also liked showing up to gifts on my bed.

With the Shades Retreat, I loved how involved the cook was in the retreat. I also liked the structure around the workshops, which allowed for plenty of solitude between them. The Black Writers Write Time retreat was right on the ocean and involved a lot of love and trust in sharing our work. I included all of this.

4. I trusted what my spirit would attract.

I didn’t settle for shit and I didn’t obsess over what (and who) I wanted. I trusted that I’d either get what I asked for or better. Me: I need a photographer. Spirit: Don’t worry about it. Your chef does that too. Me: Fa sho! Another example: I originally planned to lead the yoga and meditation sessions. Then when the Calm Coach herself, Jamie (@blackgirlcalm) signed up, I asked her if she wanted to do it. She said yes and rocked that shit too–calmly, of course 😉

5. I didn’t plant a lick of stress or exhaustion in the mix.

During the planning process, whenever I began feeling overwhelmed, I stopped. If I was tired that day, then I didn’t work on it. I didn’t want any stress going into this at all. When it was all said and done, I did a lot–no doubt–but it wasn’t difficult to achieve. It didn’t feel like “labor.” I wanted it, did it, and it happened.

6. I got help.

We only call Crystal my assistant because we can’t think of a better title yet. Her t-shirt line and social media name is @GoddessManeuvers and she helps businesses with the things that limit the business owners from being able to work on the bigger picture. And she does it ever so skillfully and gracefully. For instance, she said we need a medical waiver (when I hadn’t even thought of that) then created one and sent it to me to print and bring along. As strengths and weaknesses came to me during the retreat, she maintained the list. Bomb, I say!

7. I balanced flow and structure.

This was another one that I got from How She Got Free. And my personality too. I don’t like the traditional school setting where you do this and then the bell rings and you go here and then here. I need to be able to be alone with my thoughts, but not so long that I don’t feel I’ve gotten my money’s worth. So we had a basic outline for each day (yoga and meditation, writing sessions, meals, and an add-on like the Geechee-Gullah tour). Otherwise, you were free to do you.

8. I didn’t feel the need to be the expert. 

At times, I felt more like an attendee than the facilitator. I neither started nor sustained some conversations; sometimes I’d just listen; other times, I wasn’t even present.

9. I was open to it being better than I expected.

Visualizing can only go so far. The experience will pick up where the vision left off and run with it. Ain’t no telling which way it’ll go (lol), but trust it. When I was at home browsing the web trying to find a house to retreat in, I had no idea it’d be as magical as it was. 

10. I gained a new reference point.

Being a live-in chef had always been a dream of @Key_Chef, but life obstructed the view (as it can and will do). However, the retreat was her new reference point. Combining her imagination (picturing herself as an in-house chef) and the actual experience, she’s on another level now; she can only go up from here. I feel the exact same way about the retreat, and I’ve already begun planning the next one.

 

Use the hashtag #BetweenWordsandWater for more pics and captions.