I want a Veggie Lover’s. I don’t eat red onions like that, but I wouldn’t even take them off. I’d eat them right along with the crunchy bell peppers, meaty mushrooms, tomato and greasy crust. I never think this deeply into what I’m about to eat. I just get it (or make it). But right now I can’t. Technically speaking, this is day two of the detox.
I couldn’t keep calling it a challenge. How you refer to a thing matters. To me, a challenge is a competition. It’s or win or lose situation. It’s fun to win, but won’t shit happen if you don’t. So I started calling it what it is: a cleansing, a for real course in self love, and a healthy test of my tenacity. That makes me feel good about it all over again. I remember my why. I’m also:
- Reminding myself of specific times when I demonstrated tenacity. When I had no other choice but to be strong. When I may not have exactly made the best decision but still pulled through it.
- Being active. You’d be surprised at how good walking or stretching can make you feel.
- Sporadically texting my amazing support team to bother them about my pizza or cookie craving is another lifesaver.
- Journaling like my life depended on it. That’s my space to put all on my mental conversations on paper.
A few days ago I wrote a newsletter on tenacity. I asked if readers would risk vulnerability and share something that they’re going through right now and how they plan to tough it out. Here’s what they said.
“I love my husband, but the hardest thing for me right now is staying married to a man who I feel doesn’t appreciate me. My first and strongest instinct was to run, file for divorce, and hope that the next man will truly value what I bring to the table. That would’ve been the easiest thing to do. I choose not to do what’s easier. I choose to make my voice heard and give my husband the opportunity to value who and what he has with everything in me.
This is no easy task. I’ve only realized my worth in the last couple of years. I’ve had to accept that his lack of appreciation is a direct result of my lack of self worth. I have to fight against the weaknesses I’ve let him see in and around me, which he now uses as a weapon against me. He has gotten comfortable with me being the issue, so now that that’s no longer the case, he can’t handle dealing with his own issues. You’re right when you say it’s easy dedicating yourself to doing what you love, but I’m determined that no matter how much it hurts to stand up for me to him, I’m going to do just that, no matter the outcome.”
I had to roll my shoulders back a couple of times after reading that. She had me wiggling in my seat because I remember being in that space. I remember making that scary-exciting decision to stand up for myself in my relationship(s). Of finally feeling how it feels to accept yourself. Though edited, her voice is still loud and clear. Here’s another.
“Being a hustler is a term that I’m quite unfamiliar with. Yes, I’ve had to work hard and remain steadfast, but having to think about ways to make a consistent income is nothing I really thought I had to do. I presumed that getting an education would be my ticket. Boy, was I wrong. I went to school, got the credentials, and it still didn’t give me the satisfaction. Starting a small business with minimal capital, having the business not do well and having to restructure is disappointing.
Now I feel like I have to start a new venture. Before I do all that, however, I need the financial support! I need self-sufficiency–now, like yesterday! So I’m working to find a job that I’ll enjoy doing so I that I can start on building my capital for my business. I need time to save, buy things for my family, and just to feel…womanly. I have a plan and I work towards it daily. I cannot lost sight of the bigger picture.”
I read myself all up in that one. It wasn’t too long ago that I experienced the first real dip in my business. I learned a lot about myself during that time. What’s going to give her greater is her plan. Having a detailed plan on how to get what you want and the tenacity to commit to that plan (and being willing to revise it when necessary) is thē key. Here’s another.
In writing this, I am actually learning about myself. If you would have asked me before this assignment if I was tenacious, I would have said no. But in thinking about that, I had to pause. I have set goals for myself and have achieved those goals. However, when I think of being tenacious, I sometimes see it as a “dog with a bone”–really going after something. There really hasn’t been anything in my life that I’ve just had to “go after” until now.
Recently, my situation at work has been hellish. For the last two weeks, I walk in and don’t want to be here. Ever feel like you are not valued, and everyone knows it and gives you the look of pity? Now I do. So while I have considered every option–quitting, seeking severance, etc.–I have decided to stay here until I find the right next position.
I feel as though I have received a word from the Lord saying, ‘Stay, I got your back. You are going through hell, but I got you on the other side. And it will be worth it.’ That being said, now I am like that dog with a bone. I choose to stay and endure hell until I find my next position–whatever that may be. Do to me what you will or may, but you ain’t making me leave. I will leave when I’m good and damn ready.
Did you feel that? Who hasn’t tolerated a job? After reading these stories, I added an intention to my 38-day detox. I’m not only doing this for myself and my family, but for my tribe too. Because if I can do this then you can too. Not just with what you eat, but in your relationships, your career, your finances, etc.
Practicing tenacity is something that we can do because it’s something that we already do.
We may only need to expand its presence into other areas of our life. By choosing an outlet to tell your story, you’re reminding someone else that all hope is not lost, that there’s light on the other side of the tunnel. And that’s important.