Showing Up: Retreat Reflection #2

Retreat Reflection #2: Keep Showing Up

The Crossing Header

I’m a writer. That’s my purpose. I write. Sometimes I make it more complicated than what it is, but that’s what it always circles back to.

I’m sure that you can relate to the habit of unnecessarily complicating what’s simple. 

You may also be able to relate to knowing that you’re good at what you do, but it not visually seeming as so at times. Thank God I’ve graduated from needing a pat on the back at every turn. Had I still depended on outside validation, and continued to allow it to make me feel not “good enough,” then shit like this would crush me:

  • Paying for a booth, standing there for hours, and selling 0 books.
  • Planning events for months, investing hundreds of dollars, and having 1 person attend.
  • Excitedly announcing the launch of a new book and having 2 sales.
  • Writing a bomb ass post and only getting 3 likes.

After naming each emotional attendee of my pity party, Akilah leaned forward, furrowed her perfectly arched brows, and emphasized that, “This is not for the faint at heart.”

Though the flesh may deem me as so sometimes, Self shakes its head no. See, the fainthearted would’ve kicked her heels off and put her slippers on, closed the laptop and picked up the remote. She would’ve quit.

But that ain’t my style.

Group Grins

The retreat consisted of six other women just like that. Women who have a few scars and bruises from falling down, but move so fast that you can’t see ’em. Women who’ve been home for a month now, are clear, focused, and doing a hell of lot more than just surviving.

This is because we were reminded of the importance of being committed to the vision, seeing it as complete, and showing up. However, prior to even being there, you have to be able to answer these vital questions asked to us by Katrina:

Showing up for the vision

Stimulating, right?

Our spirits were further aroused (keyword: spirits, because that flesh can be a little flaky at times) via a 5-step process which assisted us in connecting the dots between what we do and who we are.

The Crossing 5 step process

The biggest one for me is minimizing the distractions. I know what my purpose is. I know exactly what I want and what it takes to have it. I just have to stop allowing (physical) fears, doubts, self-comparisons, and busy work convince me otherwise.

The beautiful part about this 5-step journey is that it can be circumnavigated. So, when I find myself distracted, I revert to the first step and realign with my source.

What’s for me is already mine. What’s for you is already yours. We just have to stop complicating what’s simple and stay focused. That way, when it calls us (because it knows our name), we’ll be ready.

In the meantime, our job is to continue showing up. Even if we don’t visually see it as successful, it’s important to be present. Only in a state of consciousness can we receive the unique gift (whether it be a lesson learned or a skill acquired) out of that moment. That gift is critical to the next phase of your journey.

me, akilah, and katrina

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Comments

3 responses to “Showing Up: Retreat Reflection #2”

  1. Akilah Avatar

    Keep going. Keep knowing. Keep trusting. And goddammit, keep writing!

    1. Trelani Avatar

      ^ (See why I love this woman?)

  2. Valerie Avatar

    You were born to write. Enough said!

    Oh so glad to have met you, Trel. You are a bright bulb and your shine will continue to be brighter and brighter and brighter.