The thing about sowing and reaping

“…For whatever one sows, that he will also reap.” Simplified: You reap what you sow. Further simplified: You get out what you put in.

That’s always been one of my favorite scriptures and sayings. I saw it as God having my back–whoever does me wrong will have to pay for it. And I saw it as opportunity; if I want it, I just gotta put in the work to get it.

Then I went out for wine and creme brulee with one of my favorite girls and she mentioned how she couldn’t wait until she began reaping. I agreed, then paused to think: What if we are reaping already? 

“What does it mean to sow?” she asked.

“Good question,” I answered. “I think it means what I’m praying for, what I’m planning out, and what I give without expectation of receiving anything in return for.”

I give often and generously, so I concluded that because of that, I’ll never go without. I’m pretty sure there’s some old truism out there that states that already, but off the top of my head, I can’t pinpoint why I know that. I just do. From my time to my money, even when I don’t feel like I have much, I’ve always been a giver. So when it comes to basic needs, I’m covered.

But that’s not thriving. That’s surviving, which is just getting by. I’m damn good at doing that, but I’m ready for excess. I want wealth. Like we said at the table that afternoon, I want to be able to spend over $20 for a glass of wine and dessert and not wince about it. I want to be able to take a table of girlfriends out and pay for everyone. I want my bills to automatically draft without worrying me. I want to be able to help more people.

There’s power in saying “I want,” just as there’s power in saying “I will” and “I am.” Try it. 

What then does it take to move beyond getting by to having more than I need? Without pause, she reminded me that I have a tendency to undercharge out of fear. On top of that, I thought about how I don’t exactly manage the funds that I do have too well. I’m reading a biography of James Baldwin and it explains how “keeping to budgets” was never an interest of his, and I believe many artists can relate.

But being able to manage what you have now is important in your desire for more. For example, for the past (too many) years, I’m always broke when Black Friday comes around. Don’t care to shop then, but it’s just an observation. It didn’t matter if I was working at the hotel for $8 an hour, at the police department for $15 an hour, the university, or for myself. The same applies: I’m always broke at that time of year, which can only mean that I’m not managing my money in my best interest. That said, it doesn’t matter if I brought home a million dollars one year. If I’m not mindful of how I spend, then I’ll always need more. Whether we’re talking about money, time, or energy, the same applies. I also realized that when it comes to sowing better health, I’m sending mixed messages with my inconsistency, but why?

I took that conversation to my journal that night and realized that my lack of discipline boils down to fear. In 2016, I want to reap wealth and health, so I refuse to sow any more of those fears. Other than that, I’ve pretty much gotten exactly what I wanted. I wanted more original art on my walls, more moments of stillness, more clients, more visibility, more courage to mother my children my own way, and more courage to be super duper lovingly honest in all of my relationships. I got all of that.

If you’re a parent, then pay particular attention because how you sow affects how you directly and indirectly teach your children to.

When you get a moment, I want you to write this down: 

• What does sowing and reaping mean to you? Define it or describe it.
• What did you actually manifest this year? What did you want and actually get?
• What didn’t you get?
• Is there a possibly that you obstructed yourself from reaping it by what you were (or were not) sowing?

If you feel like sharing a part, or all of your responses here, please do.