Radical Self-Expression: A Fully-Embodied Priority

At some point in all women’s lives (literally–every single one), we arrive at this place of confusion. We’re put-putting along, when all of a sudden we crash but can’t put our finger on the why. For me, it happened around age 18. I got out of the car to see what was wrong. I checked the fuel gauge; the tires; lifted the hood to check the engine. All seemed well–as good as it was gonna get, at least–but yet…something in my life was still missing.

Consequently, I couldn’t move forward. I was stuck right there: clocking in at two jobs that I hated, emotionally suffering in a relationship that I thought was love, drowning in debt, and the list could go on and on. It got to the point where I hated my hair, body, wardrobe, friends, family, and nearly everything else that was associated with me.

I looked at other women who seemed happy, with the bifocaled eyes of a mad scientist, trying to diagnose the problem that way. Seemed that new shoes and purses would do the trick. A banging body via squats and sit-ups. A boyfriend with more money. A college degree. A house versus an apartment with the luxury car to match. Regular appointments at the beauty salon, nail shop, and spa. More time in church. And a few more girls’ nights out wouldn’t hurt either.

Not one damn thing on that list worked. Whatever it was that I needed, money couldn’t buy it. I’d even picked up and moved four states over and that kind of helped, but that something was still missing. That emptiness followed me.

So, I started writing again and I felt myself getting closer to that something. I call this my breakthrough. Writing, for me, breaks through the bullshit. It’s my primary source of self-expression. It gifts clarity and space to not have to worry about what anyone else will think or say. For my sister that’s painting. For Andrea, that’s dancing. For Shante, that’s working with children.

What is it for you?

Little by little, I began ridding myself of layers and layers of masks, lies and unnecessary weight. This included both people and habits. Consequently, I was freed to learn that what I was looking for was there all along. I didn’t need anybody or anything else.

I needed more me.

More Trelani. But I needed her in the way that she was born to be and not of what society had made her. I needed to be able to be me in all situations and environments. I needed to be my own constant. I needed to be more like the courageous characters that I wrote about. I needed to understand that it was true in that you are what you attract. Furthermore, I needed to quit making excuses for all the negativity that I was attracting.

So, I did. And again, I felt myself getting closer to what it was that I was seeking. Soon, I was able to put a name to that something: my Highest Self. The best me that I can possibly be. The happiest, healthiest and most powerful version of me. I’d finally worded the concept.

• Who: Me
• What: My Highest Self
• When: Now
• Where: Here
• How: Radical Self-Expression

Feeling is so often downplayed, but is so very important. We need to feel good. Although I know that I won’t feel good ALL the time, I want it most of the time and in every area of my life. And when I’m not feeling it, then I need a way of figuring out what’s wrong and how to realign with that feeling.

Radical Self-Expression gave me all ‘dat. 

I consciously decided to embrace Radical Self-Expression as a lifestyle change. A fully embodied, prioritized lifestyle change that says everything that I need it to for me as an individual woman, writer, wife, mother, etc. If you ever find yourself “feeling some kinda way,” missing something, and/or wanting more of you, then Radical Self-Expression will also serve you.