I’ve been advocating personal essays and not even thinking that the word “essay” might be turning you off. It might remind you of school, which could either make you roll your eyes or scrunch your eyebrows together. English was my thing in school, but even I hated doing essays–for the most part.
The topic that you’re writing about makes the difference. A personal essay is about whatever you want it to be about. It’s a conversation. You’re talking and your reader is listening. It’s the same as meeting up with your girlfriend and before she can sit down in her seat good, you say, “Girl, lemme tell you…” Or maybe you’re in bed with your lover and the vibes got you spilling memories from way back when or dreams for what’s to come.
If you’ve been wanting to write about your life, but haven’t known where or how to start, here’s an easy format to follow (then tweak). I used “No One Special,” a personal essay that I published with For Harriet as a guide:
1. Call us over.
Hook us. Make me wanna get in my car and drive over there to hear what you gotta say. It can be a quote, a question, a fact, or a statement. I used a statement: When I was 13, I was arrested and sentenced to 90 days in a youth detention center. I could’ve started off with a fact: Today, girls are the fastest growing group in YDCs. Or, I could’ve used a quote: “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”
2. Fix the tea.
Set the scene. Give us some background and let us know what kinda roller coaster we’re about to ride. Mine let you know that you were about to read about my experience at YDC that was probably pretty effed up: When I first arrived “up the road,” I hesitated when my turn came to undress, squat, and cough because I was menstruating and there was a male guard in the room. He wasn’t looking, but he was still there. Finally, a woman guard told me, “Come on, girl, I ain’t got all day.”
3. Pour the tea.
In one sentence–it’s called the thesis statement, but it ain’t the school kinda thesis statement. It’s the gateway to the rest of the essay, opening up and welcoming the readers into the experience. It can be a lesson learned, a profound statement that connects your story to something the reader can relate to, or begin the events of the story like mine: That was the day I realized I was no one special, and it took about a decade to regain the little self-respect I had before that incident.
4. Sip the tea.
In an academic essay, this would be called the supporting evidence that you use to prove your thesis statement. Your supporting evidence in the personal essay is your experience. When you called me over and while you were fixing and pouring the tea, you were telling me what you were going to tell me; you were getting me ready for the ride. Now tell me. If it helps, go in chronological order. Take us back to the lesson or the significance of what happened. Give us action.
5. Wrap it up.
Reflect on the action and give us the moral of the story. How did what happened back then affect your life or your perspective or relationships going forward?
6. Clean up.
Writing is a process. You wrote the rough draft, now you gotta go back and clean it up. I revised “No One Special” three times before sending it off. If you decide to write a few more essays and put them together under a common theme, then you’ll have a book something like Audre Lorde’s Sister Outsider. Or if you decide to keep fleshing out this essay and going deeper with it, then you’ll have a memoir something like Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes.
Proud of what you wrote? Comment below and lemme know how this helped you or if you have a question. I’d love, love to read what you came up with. Feel free to share it with me at Trelani@SoFundamental.com
If you’d like to go all the way and turn this into a book, then see how The #8WeekBookPeak can give you that individualized one-on-one time with the necessary accountability, support, and resources to get it done before summer.