“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality.” – Belva Davis
Belva is from Monroe, Louisiana–the same place I was born. I knew that she was the one of the first black women in radio/news, but that’s it. Her memoir sat on my bookshelf for about three years before opening it a few days ago.
The part where she mentions being a 31-year-old divorced mama of two made me sit up. I was like, “That’s me!” At that point in her life she realized she wanted to flip the script. She had a “good job” (you know: health benefits, vacation days, and pay that covers the bills plus brunch). She wanted out though.
On the side, she was writing for Jet and Ebony magazines, but her name wasn’t going on any pieces and she rarely got paid for it. This was in the late ’50s, early ’60s. (I could just hear her friends/family, sounding like mine: “Girl, don’t quit that job!”)
But she loved writing!
So she focused on doing more of what she wanted to do. She started writing for a local black newspaper, which brought in a small salary, but enough to where she threw the deuces to the job. She was making less money, but she was more fulfilled in her work.
Turn to your neighbor and say: That shit matters.
Her passion and her willingness to pursue it revealed more and more options. I don’t like to say “open doors.” Before she knew it, she was on tv and radio, interviewing MLK, Oprah, Muhammad Ali, Jackson 5, etc.
When I finished that book, one gangsta tear slid down my cheek. That woman had been through some thangs, but none of it stopped her. It fueled her. And it inspired me! (I even emailed her afterwards.)
It was a wonderful testament to this tricky ass space between our dreams and reality; it can be tough. Because I dig the energy from my last email, I’ll share here, too, how I’ve been self-leading lately:
1. Getting rid of shit that’s just taking up space
2. Reading the histories of where I’m from (Monroe, New Orleans, Savannah)
3. Nature walks
4. Still being unplugged from Instagram and writing my ass off
5. Calling up old folks (including my dad’s 80-something-year-old mama who I ain’t talk to in years and my stepdad’s 70-something-year-old mama who I ain’t talk to in months)
6. Texting young folks
7. Deciding if not feeling like working out is coming from my spirit or not, which determines if I override it, compromise, or honor it
8. Doing one thing at a time, as much as possible (multitasking is for the birds) (shit, not even them)
9. Paying attention to how different emotions/feelings affect my body
10. Self-pleasuring again 😉
What’s on your list these days?
With tight hugs + tacos,
Trelani