I’d been working on the same novel for going on two years.
I started off one way and then went for another way. That didn’t quite sit right with me with either, so I tried another direction. Time after time, I kept getting stuck.
Took my own advice and decided to take a break from it. Not long, maybe two weeks or so. Then something interesting happened…
Another character’s story came to the forefront. I was initially writing about Mona (if you read Getting Across or What the Devil Meant for Bad, then that’s Pam’s sister and Shantelle’s aunt). Now I’m writing about Lee, who’s Mona’s roommate.
And there are still days when I don’t feel like writing or I don’t necessary know what to say next. But I keep showing up to the manuscript. I made that commitment with myself. I’d keep pulling out my notebook or laptop and seeing what came up.
A lot of days, that looked like writing really fast and telling myself that what I was writing didn’t too much matter because I was only connecting one dot to the next dot. Once I finished writing the story, I’d reread it later and fix what I wasn’t feeling.
I started this story in November, during National Novel Writing Month. Though I didn’t finish it then, I’m about 75% finished now and it’s like God has finally taken the wheel. I labored long and hard, stayed up many a’ nights, and now my baby is finally somewhat feeding itself.
While writing, I’m not completely clear on what’s going to happen next, but it’s stimulating how beautifully everything is coming together. The struggles I had with Mona’s story are becoming evident in this one. Lee is explaining a lot of the occurrences that Mona wasn’t making evident.
We just had a full moon and winter starts next week and…
I’m really deep inside of my feelings. Sometimes that translates to a whole buncha lotta creativity and energy, but not always. Other times, I just want to go back to bed…again and again.
But I continuously mama’ed myself into what was best. Because when I’m flooded with feelings (and that’s not a bad thing at all), I don’t always make the most productive decisions. So I have to:
- Give myself space to sort through those feelings.
- Figure out what they’re trying to tell me (wanting more of this and less of that).
- Follow up with action.
Sometimes that action is going back to bed. But sometimes it’s telling myself to write for 15 minutes, giving it all I got during that time. Sometimes it’s telling myself to layer my clothes and go for a walk because I need the sunshine to combat the blues, which will sneak the phuck up on you this time of year. It’s choosing the peanut butter and banana smoothie instead of the brownie and ice cream. It’s writing everything I need to do on a calendar, so I can choose a day (or block of time) to do nothing without having that feeling that I’m getting behind or forgetting something.
Try this:
For my girlfriend’s birthday, we went out for drinks at a local bar. They had a small fire burning outside and the Cowboys and Giants were playing. Angel is a HUGE football fan. Me and Crystal are not. We just like the energy of sports gatherings.
“What are you a fan of?” I asked Crystal.
I don’t remember her initial response, but the three of us kept throwing declarations out there until we emptied. I’m a fan of love. I’m a fan of making money. I’m a fan of bringing women together and getting really personal. I’m a fan of good music. I’m a fan of doing work that you love. I’m a fan of traveling. I’m a fan of…
Grab a girlfriend or two or three and try this activity. I think the fire played a pretty big role too, so integrate a natural element, if you can (water, fire, air, earth) and see what becomes of it.