I shared with a group of sista-friends how I’ve been lusting for fudge brownies, goldfish crackers, and hard cider (all at the same time). I’m PMS’ing, and you know how that goes.
Some said go for it, and I understood where they were coming from. They were suggesting treating myself, which I’m a huge fan of. But I have to be careful because there’s a fine line between treating yourself and lacking discipline. Learning the difference between the two is why I’m a fan of challenges. Committing to a challenge puts all of your excuses right in your face.
You don’t have to be in one to realize the difference between treating yourself or lacking discipline. You just have to pay attention to your feelings and thoughts. I didn’t go for the brownies this week because based on my patterns, whenever something isn’t going my way, I tend to crave either starch and sugar. When I give in at moments like these, I’m pretty reckless with it. I’ll go to an Italian restaurant and eat two baskets of bread by my damn self or eat a half a pan of brownies in one day. And if I’m craving it the next day, I’ll get it then too.
And it’s one of those slippery slope things because it won’t just affect what I’m stuffing in my mouth, but the shrugging attitude will creep into other areas of my life. I’ll choose Netflix over working out or reading over writing or thumbing through Instagram instead of meditating. Before I know it, I feel like shit and I’m wondering why. Feel me?
It’s a thin line though because sometimes you need to treat yourself and choose the brownie. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about how doing nothing is part of the plan sometimes. Flow is calling you, but you’re ignoring it. If it calls you to be still, do so. If it calls you to move, obey. Learning to recognize the difference between treating yourself and lacking discipline helps you on both ends. It makes you feel less guilty when treating yourself and amps your commitment to your goals.
It boils down to the why. Are you reading instead of writing because you’re frustrated that your words aren’t feeling magical? If you wanna watch movies instead of working out, have you considered both? Maybe instead of running two miles or going to the gym, you find a 15-minute workout on YouTube, do that, and then watch your movie. Instead of balling all year and ending up broke come November (so me), then try including treating yourself in your budget.
As a writing coach, I help my clients realize their patterns that block them from writing, but I don’t work on resolving them. Because I can’t. Shit happens, but commitment prevails. If you’re dedicated to finishing your book, then we’ll make it happen. Within the goals that you’ll set, I’ll make sure you have room to treat yourself. But if you’re kegeling your excuses (and yes, men can kegel too), then there’s nothing I can say or do that will help.
Consider this and write your responses:
- I usually reach for the sugar and starch when things aren’t going my way. That’s my cue not to give in. What’s yours?
- Can you relate to the slippery slope? If so, what does your look like?
- Not because it sounds good or it’s been on your to-do list for too damn long now, but because you are emotionally invested in getting this done. What’s that?
- What’s the plan for making that happen?
If finishing a book is one your intentions and you’re committed to making it happen, then I can help you do it. In my strategy sessions, I help you clarify your vision, customize a plan for the process, and identify your next steps. If you’ve already started your book or not, if you want more confidence and clarity going forward, then this will help. Here’s the signup form.