“Refuse to confuse desire with necessity, especially when it comes to being understood.”
That’s another quote from Women Who Ain’t Afraid that has, yet again, shown up for me at the most beloved time. I would love to be understood, but I understand that it won’t always happen. So while it’s a desire of mine, it’s not a necessity. I can still go forward in my decision without your understanding.
When I say that your God-say ain’t mine, I’m referring to some conversations that have reappeared in my life. They tend to do so whenever I’m in the midst of making a major move. In this case, my husband I are parting ways. It’s something we should’ve been done, but should’ve could’ve would’ve…now we are. And I held back on saying anything until I was for certain that I was going through with it. You know how love goes. My spirit wasn’t budging this go round though, and as time for me to leave nears, I’m beginning my goodbyes.
I’m being met with a whole buncha lotta concern. And I appreciate it. I do, because I translate that worry as love. If it weren’t, they wouldn’t give a damn either way, but they do. So they don’t mind telling me to rethink it, give it another chance, don’t give up, and don’t leave. God told them or put it on their heart to tell me that.
Do I doubt that God is actually telling them this? To be real, yes. To doubt is to be uncertain about, and I’m fully aware that sometimes fear’s voice can sound so sure that it can easily be mistaken as God’s. Am I saying that’s the case here? Nope, just presenting it as a possibility. It could very well be God–their higher knowing–telling them otherwise. However, your God-say ain’t mine, and mine ain’t yours.
I prayed long and hard, and hard and long, about quitting my job to work for myself, about keeping my child or choosing to abort, about homeschooling, and so on and so forth. And according to my experience, you know the answer before you ask it. You really only want confirmation as a source of comfort, and ain’t nothing wrong with that. You just gotta know, however, that it won’t always be there. Trust me.
Warning: I’m about to preach for a second here. You gotta have courage to bust a move anyway. With each brave decision, the process of choosing for self, by self, becomes easier. Not easy, but easier.
So it was put on my heart to share this with you. That’s my God-say though, and it might not necessarily be for you; take it or leave it. If it’s something you’ve been wanting to do (or needing to do), but you’ve been told (or you predict being told) that you shouldn’t do it, think about that thang.
You’re accountable for your own soul. Choose wisely. Choose bravely. Choose self-fully.
Nah mean?