How I won SCAD, Finland + #TopShelfMe with my me-ness

Not too long ago, my sister-friend-mentor, Akilah, mentioned a writing project that she was working on for Atlanta Black Star. It was one of those big deal kinda things. Her first submission was what she thought they wanted, but they weren’t feeling it. She redid it in full blast me-ness style and made her own toes wiggle, the editors happy, and the readers engaged.

“Authenticity wins every time,” I said.

“Every single time,” she added, nodding her head.

Confirmation! I’d just had a similar experience with a client of mine in Finland (I love saying that). Our first big project kinda shook me up, so, like Akilah, I gave him something along the lines of what I thought he’d say. Here’s what he said:

Love your way of writing, the tonality and all. Just a thought: You have a lot “kickassness” inside you and that might be cool in the ebook too – think about this. The tone is good, but there’s a badass inside you waiting to let it rip 😉 I would like to see that side of you, so don’t control yourself too much 🙂

He wanted more kickassness, more badassness. Cool. Allow me to also add that me-ness requires far less head scratching and heavy breathing. Typed that thang up, sent it over, and this was his response:

YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Just read the draft and I LOVE IT Great energy, really got me excited – BUZZING!!!

Motivation! In my New Media course, we’re collaborating with Silver Promotion Service to research and develop concepts for an integrated business-to-consumer social media strategy to increase traffic to their savorsilver.com website. Cool. The director flew down to meet us both as a group and individually.

I’m the type to throw it out of my mind until the day of, then I get super nervous. Somewhere in the midst of trying to figure out what to wear and what to say, I thought about it. If I scripted what to say, I’d sound scripted. If I wore what I thought he’d like, I wouldn’t be all the way comfortable and he might still not like it. So I decided to be me. And he ate my ass up like a three-course prix fixe (not literally, of course).

Another SCAD example: I was offered a job in the writing department. Mind you, I decided a while back that I’d NEVER work another job. My daddy used to tell me to gone head with that never stuff. Boy, I owe him one. First off, they came to me. Second, it’s right up my alley with what I already do and what I want to learn more of. Third, it pays damn good. Fourth, they respected my desire to work from home. All of that, I believe, came from being all the way me in class and in the interview, especially.

Here’s what I love about being both a teacher and a student…

I recently completed (or not) a 21-day challenge of eating only raw fruits and veggies. Started off good, then somewhere in the middle, my mind convinced me that I needed a hot meal. I reasoned that if I went vegan for dinner then it wouldn’t be considered falling off; it’d be making it work for me. During the challenge, I was proud of me. Afterwards, not so much. Expressed this to Akilah, who led the challenge, and she told me skrate up.

It was dubbed a challenge because it isn’t easy to do. It’ll have your mind stretching. You’ll try convincing yourself why you can’t go all the way. The juiciest part of challenges is trumping those moments of weakness. Another perspective: Had I asked my husband to do something for me and he agreed, yet failed to do it in the way that he promised he would, I’d be pissed.

I have to hold myself to the same standard. I consider this a “win” in that I have a friend who was honest enough to say, “You told yourself that you can’t trust you.” This is also a win because I’m now in full knowing. I’m no longer in the space of needing a gold star for failing to live up to my commitments. I told myself that I’d only eat fruits and veggies for 21 days in order to elevate my mind, body and spirit. The elevation I had no control of; the eating I did.

My compassion no longer consists of excuses. Instead, it identifies a problem and offers a solution. In this case, the problem was giving up midway in my commitment to myself.