She sounds just like me. Uses the same phrases and terms that I do. Extremely suggestive. Bold, LOUD, and repetitive. She has a way of attracting ideas and opinions that are conducive to her own. She can be easily mistaken for my intuition, but she’s not.
She’s my fear.
Fear is sneaky like that. It’s been with us for so long that we’ve grown accustomed to its voice. We label it as a lesson learned or inner wisdom and comply without question. That easy compliance is called “acquiescence.” And acquiescence is a master of shutting you up, holding you down, and boxing you in. Within that box, it’s impossible to grow.
Whatever it is, fear won’t allow you to experience it. At this moment, in my case, my it is the 38-day #ReclaimRebel challenge. I’ve already committed to doing it and I’m going to do it, but these thoughts are endless. Cruising down Chatham Parkway, it hit me. That same voice–the one that vacillates between being gentle and aggressive–is the same one that tried to stop me from quitting my job. The same one that told me that going natural wasn’t for me. That I just might not get approved for the house. That I couldn’t reformat my business model. That I couldn’t homeschool. Etc.
Since fear doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, then I figured it was in my best interest to recognize its voice. This way I can spend less time feeding it and more time doing what I need to do. I compared the faces of my fear to those of a few of my family, friends, and coaching clients. I found that fear…
Prioritizes the opinion of others.
No one likes to think that they care about what other people think. But in some way, most of us do. This could be the opinions of friends, family, co-workers, followers, or complete strangers. We applaud those who stand out and cringe at the thought of doing so ourselves. It’s necessary and I promise you that you will survive. If it doesn’t work, so what? Move on. You won’t be the first, second or last one to make a mistake. It’s your birthright to make a mistake, to change your mind, and to explore. The only life you’re promised is this one, waste it if you wanna…
Sits your goals on ice.
As soon as the kids are grown and gone, then you can start travelling the world. As soon as your schedule changes, then you can start working out. As soon as you read enough material on how to become a successful author, then you’ll write the book. As soon as you begin to allow your goals to sit on ice, then the ice melts. It gets old and spoils, and before you know it, you’re on to yet another goal that you won’t accomplish. By telling you “later” instead of “no,” fear has more of a chance to win you over.
Obsesses with “what if.”
What if I go running and pass out? What if you write the book and no one buys it? Or you write it and someone contests their role in the book? What if you enroll, fail, and get stuck with a student loan? What if you quit and lose your house? What if you decide to homeschool and your child falls behind? What if’s can go on all day long. I promise. Do yourself a favor and shut it down. If need be, take 30 minutes and write every single “what if” down and allow your Higher Self to write the answer next to it.
Reminds you what failure feels like.
Remember that time you effed up that relationship? That time you put your all into that paper and the teacher said it was awful? That time you bust your ass in the gym, stepped on the scale, and hadn’t lost an ounce? That time you applied for credit and was denied? Girl, you have to let that go. That was the past. This is now. Every now and then, I look in the mirror and tell myself, “I love you and I got you.”
Lives in the comfort zone.
How uncomfortable will it be to only eat fruit when I’m surrounded by crawfish, po-boys, red beans, and drive-thru daiquiri shops? How uncomfortable will it be to sacrifice social media and television to write for 30 minutes each day? How uncomfortable will it be to go back to school when you’ve been out for over ten, fifteen years? Fear lives in the comfort zone and if you’re not careful, then it’ll keep you right there with it.
What are some of the faces of your fear? If you’ve been procrastinating in writing your story, let me know. We’ll design a schedule and strategy that works best for you.